At least Two needed to Tango
Grandparenting is a team effort.
When I think about how lucky we are to have four wonderful grandchildren, I have to remind myself that it starts with four wonderful children. Reproductively, obviously, but I mean philosophically.
There are so many so called families today who do not have the mutual trust and confidence that creates the environment for the special relationship Cindy talks about.
I think her observations are very astute and accurate about the license for grandparents to be children again. But there is the license one needs, as a grandparent, to behave like a child. The parents have to grant this license.
All of my children, natural or in-laws, are better than I was at this and certainly better than anyone else I have observed.
I believe this stems from the stability of their relationships which like anything worthwhile are worked on regularly. The creation of high trust high affection environment by my children creates fertile ground for the grandchild relationships.
An environment to love, be loved and express this love by saying it and showing it. Frankly all foreign concepts to our upbringing.
Perhaps this is based on the deprivation we caused in both my children by prematurely leaving their grandparents by immigrating to North America.
But I think the real reason is far deeper. It is first and foremost based on three solid marriages, a statistical aberration nowadays. With the complication of divorce, there would be no possibility of these relationships. Equally important is that we have a genuine friendship between us and our children in a very nuclear family. A relationship that is not based on obligations on either side.
This obligation free environment leaves everyone free to visit, be visited, dump kids or have kids dumped on them with no resentment.
I have been told that our children trust us with their kids and have done since an early age.
They know while we spoil them and are kids again, that there are limits. Maybe not for rollercoasters and rollerblades but for cottoncandy and pizza.
But what Cindy does not see are some of the priceless moments. Racing a sailboat with one's grandchild. Or have one of them sympathize with you after finishing 3rd at an auto race at Watkins Glen by saying, "don't worry Poppy, you tried your best".
Another priceless comment from Tim when he was about 11, was that his friend had regular grandparents. One's that were not accomplished artists or vintage racecar drivers and were, properly, old.
I took this to mean a youthful state of mind and not a literal meaning.
They keep us young, and I think that is the best therapy on earth.
And I thank all of my children and grandchildren for that.
When I think about how lucky we are to have four wonderful grandchildren, I have to remind myself that it starts with four wonderful children. Reproductively, obviously, but I mean philosophically.
There are so many so called families today who do not have the mutual trust and confidence that creates the environment for the special relationship Cindy talks about.
I think her observations are very astute and accurate about the license for grandparents to be children again. But there is the license one needs, as a grandparent, to behave like a child. The parents have to grant this license.
All of my children, natural or in-laws, are better than I was at this and certainly better than anyone else I have observed.
I believe this stems from the stability of their relationships which like anything worthwhile are worked on regularly. The creation of high trust high affection environment by my children creates fertile ground for the grandchild relationships.
An environment to love, be loved and express this love by saying it and showing it. Frankly all foreign concepts to our upbringing.
Perhaps this is based on the deprivation we caused in both my children by prematurely leaving their grandparents by immigrating to North America.
But I think the real reason is far deeper. It is first and foremost based on three solid marriages, a statistical aberration nowadays. With the complication of divorce, there would be no possibility of these relationships. Equally important is that we have a genuine friendship between us and our children in a very nuclear family. A relationship that is not based on obligations on either side.
This obligation free environment leaves everyone free to visit, be visited, dump kids or have kids dumped on them with no resentment.
I have been told that our children trust us with their kids and have done since an early age.
They know while we spoil them and are kids again, that there are limits. Maybe not for rollercoasters and rollerblades but for cottoncandy and pizza.
But what Cindy does not see are some of the priceless moments. Racing a sailboat with one's grandchild. Or have one of them sympathize with you after finishing 3rd at an auto race at Watkins Glen by saying, "don't worry Poppy, you tried your best".
Another priceless comment from Tim when he was about 11, was that his friend had regular grandparents. One's that were not accomplished artists or vintage racecar drivers and were, properly, old.
I took this to mean a youthful state of mind and not a literal meaning.
They keep us young, and I think that is the best therapy on earth.
And I thank all of my children and grandchildren for that.
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